1 month old!

Ella is a month old already! (Well, she's 5 weeks, actually!) I can't believe how time has flown. I mean, the days and nights can go so slowly at times... but I really can't believe that she's a month old.

At 1 month old, Ella can...
-bring her hands together (she has been doing this since birth)
-put her hands and fingers in her mouth
-lift her head when she's laying on her belly to 45 degrees for a moment
-focus on a face
-smiles in her sleep and smiles randomly when she's awake

-(has started smiling in response to us this week--at 5 weeks old)

-has pretty good neck support--it's still a little floppy, but much stronger than when she was born!

I'm sure there's more, but I'm not thinking clearly right now.

She's a very fussy, colicky baby. She cries a lot. When she's awake, she's crying. A painful cry. A scream, really. She doesn't cry often, she screams.

So we took her to the Dr. last Friday to see if she might have acid reflux since she has a lot of the symptoms: wakes up screaming, has projectile spit-up, spit-up comes out of her nose, etc.
The Dr. told me that I nurse her too much and that's why she spits up. And that I should give her a pacifier.

I kindly explained that we nurse often because it's the only thing that will calm her down.

(Anyone who breastfeeds or does any research on breastfeeding will tell you that you can't nurse your baby too much and that the comfort babies receive from nursing is just as important as actually getting nutrients...)

*sigh*

So we're trying things on our own. I'm cutting out milk from my diet completely. It seems to help a little, although we won't really know for sure for another few weeks because milk proteins can stay in my milk for 2 weeks and then stay in her system for up to 2 weeks, so it could take a full month for it to be completely out of her. I'm also cutting out acidic foods and fruits (tomatoes, mostly, but also fruits like pineapple and oranges). So we'll see. It breaks my heart to watch her scream, because it's very obvious that she's in pain.

We have good days and bad. Most days are filled with fussing and crying, but some are more manageable. Today we ventured out into the world (it's seriously the highlight of my week to leave my house!) to Barnes 'N Noble and bought a DVD called "The Happiest Baby on the Block" as was recommended by our doctor last week. It gives you things to try to help calm your baby. It looks amazing in the video--the Dr. is able to calm crying babies in just moments! But with Ella it seems to be hit or miss. Or she'll calm down for a few minutes but then start crying again. I guess we'll see in a few days if any of these techniques work for her or not. If not, we'll call the Dr. again and tell her that we tried her suggestions.

Actually, the spitting up has been less this week. She's still nursing a lot (more than what she needs for food) but I'm trying to soothe her in other ways before offering to nurse. All the bouncing, rocking, swaddling, and singing in the world can't calm this girl. But it's always worth a try, right?

Also, we did offer her a pacifier again. No luck. She spits it out. Actually, this is fine with me--I was never crazy about giving her a pacifier to begin with.

The DVD I mentioned was made by a pediatrician, and he has some interesting theories and ideas. He stated that newborns in a lot of ways are "born 3 months early" and aren't mature enough to calm themselves. He calls the first 3 months of life the "4th trimester" and says that newborns are really still just as needy and dependant as babies in the womb (he used the word "fetus" but I prefer to call them babies...). He confirmed that you can't "spoil" a baby, especially in the first 3 months or so of life. Babies that young can't soothe themselves, and they need to be held and cuddled a LOT. It was nice to hear (from yet another professional--I've read it from other sources) because a lot of people believe (including people who are close to us, family members or close friends...) that by holding Ella all day long and by nursing her on-demand (when she wants to nurse and when she cries, not on any "schedule" except for the Ella schedule) that we're spoiling her. This is misinformed and uneducated thinking. People who say things like that don't really know what they're talking about. In fact, if babies are held and cuddled when they're young, they tend to grow up to be more confident and trusting kids. They learn at an early age to trust that mom and dad will take care of their needs, unlike babies who are left to cry alone who learn that their cries are meaningless. Young babies (under 3-6 months) who cry themselves to sleep eventually just give up--they know that their cries won't be responded to. That's why they are "trained" to sleep alone. It breaks my heart to think about it. That they can't trust that mom and dad will respond to them, so they give up.

Sorry, TOTALLY went off on a tangent there. But, I do think it's important for people to understand why we're choosing to raise Ella the way that we are. After going to school and earning a degree in Early Childhood Development, and from doing my own research, I have come to the conclusion that we should follow our instincts and trust ourselves as parents, and trust our baby. I believe that babies cry for a reason, and that as parents, we need to respond to those cries appropriately.

Also, I believe with all of my being that God gave us instincts that will help us to raise our baby the way He wants us to. Our instincts are deep within us. It wasn't until recently that people started talking about letting their babies cry themselves to sleep, or to get them onto a schedule early on in life. The idea of "spoiling" a baby is also new-ish, relatively speaking. People have been raising babies since creation, by following their instincts. Not from listening to what other people tell them.

My instincts tell me that the Dr. in the DVD (and just about all other medical and psychological professionals who know what they're talking about) is right--you can't spoil a baby by holding them (or nursing them!) too much. Spoiling happens later on (I'd say that by a year-ish old, you can start to let babies rule too much...).

But there is no way that I can spoil this beautiful baby right now. At this point in time, she needs every bit of love and care that we can give. That's what my instincts tell me, and that's what we're doing. I'll admit, it can be very frustrating, tiring, and quite honestly, very difficult, to tend to her 24 hours a day. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. We love her with every ounce of our being.

This was us last weekend, when we went on our first walk! She fell asleep--I guess she liked it! :)

(I still need to figure out how to use a sling! It would make life so much easier to "wear" her around than carrying her all day! Especially when going to stores and things. What a pain it is to use that big heavy stroller!)